Choose not to be normal

Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Path: jfwhome!jfw
From: jfw@jfwhome.FUNHOUSE.COM (John F. Woods)
Subject: Re: The local TV station cut down my antenna
Message-ID: <C4J1D8.88o@jfwhome.FUNHOUSE.COM>
Followup-To: misc.test
Summary:  Orbital Mind Control Lasers cut off his penis
Organization: Misanthropes-R-Us
References: <1993Mar25.022215.10984@mnemosyne.cs.du.edu> <C4GGn5.Luo@cscns.com>
Date: Sat, 27 Mar 1993 02:53:29 GMT

In <C4GGn5.Luo@cscns.com> sinnfein@cscns.com (Brian McKinley) writes:
>..if I must fit your idea of bizarre to be here, then your idea is merely
>the fashion of bizarre. If you want to be fashionable, so be it. I just
>simply choose not to be normal.

"not to be normal"? Spinning around like a whining little shit snivelling about how your candy got taken away is "not normal"? What the hell happened, the cable company's "THIS CHANNEL INTENTIONALLY LEFT BLANK" sign had subliminal programming commanding you to believe that this was all a giant constipiracy directed against YOU PERSONALLY? "CHOOSE"? No choice, "not normal" is in the genes, and neither of your grandparents had it.

Fuck off and die. I scrape wierder things than you off my shoes. You fucking "I WANT MY MTV" self-centered fuckweasels come off an assembly line in the center of the hollow earth, all dyed the same normalized shade of dull gray to match your dull wit. Spinheads like you come bleating to talk.bizarre all the time, all with something that no one in their right mind gives a wet sponge about. You all bent out of shape because the cable company can't give you the twenty-four-hour-a-day Star Trek: The Nerdly Generation enema you so desperately crave? Aw. My gall bladder BLEEDS for you.

And you can take the IRA and shove them up your ass. In fact, the IRA *and* the British troops. The IRA, the British troops, Ireland, *AND* the UK. All up your ass. In FACT: take a conic section of the Earth, with a radius at the surface of 600km and centered on Holyhead in Wales I believe it is, and SHOVE IT ALL UP YOUR ASS RED-HOT-POINTED-END FIRST.

Repeatedly. With a slice of lemon.

You want to know what Fashion.Bizarre is? In every writing class, one is repeatedly told the key to good writing: "Know your audience." On USENET, that translates into the First Commandment: "Read the goddamned newsgroup before posting to it." However, in your case, talk.bizarre has another key to good writing for you: "Duct tape your mouth shut, seal your nostrils up with toothpaste, and die."

And since you'll probably go back to grunting about all those DIRTY WORDS I used in-between exposing you as a USELESS HEAP OF PHLEGM, just for your convenience here's the entire article sorted alphabetically with a reference count:

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