(Most of this came to me this morning while I was asleep.)

	
			Sleep Bank

	I noticed I was in Sleep Debt earlier this week but have been 
little able to do anything about it.  I tried making a quick, small 
deposit yesterday morning, but the sun was in my eyes and I couldn't 
properly see the ATM screen to type up my deposit.  I've also noticed 
I can't get good scrip from the local Sleep vendors in the daytime, it 
all seems to be Black Market Sleep and inflated or debased currency 
at that, so it's of little use.  The one Sleep vendor I went to 
yesterday, some guy named Caffeine, gave me the usual scrip and 
another who gave me the usual, but his name was Nap (I try to throw 
a lot of business his way because he seems so nice).  Both, alas, 
were the usual debased currency.  The ATM debits them somehow, like 
the Nap currency usually comes out to about 1/3 of what the face 
value asserts it should be recorded at.  Sometimes I get lucky and 
Nap is on the ball in being dishonest to his superiors and gives me 
a break.  Sometimes Nap's currency comes out like real Sleep Bank 
Notes, and then I'm in business.  Sometimes I'm so flush with good 
Sleep Credits I don't know what to do with myself.  I've also 
noticed that if I make two trips to Mr. Caffeine's booth in one day 
I often end up in the debits column with the Solid Waste Vendor for 
the Recycling Group.  I can only give them an inferior grade of 
rather thin solid waste for deposit and recycling, so I get very 
little Sleep scrip back from them for that.  Sometimes none.  Somehow 
it just doesn't pay.  In the process I also can end up in the GI 
Tract Debit Group of the Health Core Group, and this is not 
at all satisfactory either.  If you get in debt to them you can lose 
an awful lot of Sleep Credits before they're done with you.  That's 
just not worth it.  

	I know of some people who honestly try to cheat the Sleep 
Bank by dealing with such folks as the Speed Consortium and other 
similar Fast Crowds.  (I am aware of the speculation around the 
neighbourhood that my Mr. Caffeine is possibly running with 
this crowd, so I am careful to limit my engagements with him to only 
a few hits a week at most.  So far, I have managed to avert 
addiction to his Stuff.  See above additional risks.)  It is a Myth 
that you can get away with cheating the Sleep Bank. They somehow always 
catch up with you, sometimes to Put You Down.  After your repentant 
Downtime, you're allowed to resume your Sleep Transactions, but the 
Downtime can be pretty severe if you're not careful.  Some people 
have had some pretty serious accidents entering Downtime unexpectedly.  
Sometimes, depending on how you try to cheat the Bank, they even employ 
the Civil Police. (They're not to be tangoed with under any 
circumstances, except when you need help for some reason.  A lot 
like The Health Core Group.)  Most often it is the Sleep Police who 
come after you, though.  I think this is the only instance of any 
bank's guards having jurisdiction off-site as well as on.

	The real Sleep Police are The Sisters of Morpheus, a little-known 
all-women gang who, with the aid of the Sandman (who is far better known, 
and they like it like that) come to you often unawares and ensnare you 
to their Way.  As many of you know, they are quite persuasive in 
their efforts.  (From what I've heard, they may cull their ranks 
from the ranks of the Undead, or Insomniacs, the rumours are unclear 
on this aspect.)  Sometimes they let you argue with them, but in the 
end you know The Sisters will always win.  It is The Sisters who 
actually write elevator music and lullabyes, although until now this 
has not been widely known.  Sandman leaves his sand in your eyes as 
a mark of their visitations, which we shamefacedly try to wipe away all 
traces of when we are released from that night's contract to them by 
some means, often with the so-called "help" of an Alarm clock.  Why, 
to borrow from my friend Paul Gorman, do you think they are called 
*Alarm* clocks?  I think it's so that we don't get ahead of the The 
Bank in our deposits, so they have reason to come after us.  Crafty 
that.  Intimidation is always a popular tool of Tyrants.  

	Woebetide your ill-faired fate should you stay up well beyond 
your expiration date of a night.  Worse still should you make a habit 
of this and fall into serious Sleep Debt.  You will likely fall into 
deep, unsatisfactory, fitful sleep but not until late at night.  You 
will then be abruptly awakened by the Minions of The Sisters of 
Morpheus (who I think really work for The Bank), in the form of small 
insistent children poking you in the belly, loud alarm clocks, cats 
who *must* go outside right now *or else*, smoke alarms misfiring 
(deafeningly); all predawn and before the sun arises.  You will 
then be too wired to fall back asleep for the remaining 20 minutes 
before the Alarm clock was due to wake you anyway.  The snooze alarm 
will not save you in these moments, in fact using the snooze button 
just seems to make this worse (although I can quote no studies to 
confirm if it does).  Even on weekends and vacations this happens.  
Even without the "help" of an Alarm clock.  These are often the times 
when our Mr. Nap is on vacation or otherwise unavailable and many 
irretractable curses are blown his way at high decibels.  I have 
since found out that that last has been most ill-advised.  I've 
gone for months without a word from Mr. Nap and it was not good.  He's 
a sparkling conversationalist, much better at it than me, and I 
really missed his company during those times.  I learned a lot 
in those conversations with him.  He was the one who taught me the 
art of talking the wallpaper off of walls.  It was his minor in College 
and he's a good instructor.  

	In contrast to the Speed Consortium and related groups is 
the Soporific League.  This is also quite a large group, the most 
popular among them being the Imbibable Spirits Group.  This is an 
international section of the League, in fact probably the oldest and 
perhaps founding branch of the League.  This is an interesting group, 
although it is not recommended that one indulge in meetings when 
one must then go and operate any sort of machinery or deal with sharp 
or fragile objects, animals or small children.  This is a dangerous 
alliance to make, since the League is also known for the bulk of the 
Sudden Downtime Syndrome accident rates, especially on the highways.  
They're quite a Gang.  Rather varied, some more pretentious than 
others, some downright earthy and elemental, like the Mead Group,
which is quite old.  Some are truly poisonous, like the more rural 
and experimental branches of the Imbibable Spirits Group of the 
League who congregate in backwoods sheds and outhouses to produce 
their elixirs.  Most are either unschooled or unscrupulous and to 
be avoided.  This sort of behaviour gives the Sporific League a 
bad name (as does ill-mannered use of Soporifics), but they've 
found they can do little to root them out, so they live with their 
presence in their ranks and hope for the best.  (It seems every group
feels the need for their own sub-band of Untouchables, alas.)  

	I've had some serious tangles with the League and The Bank, 
and last night I stayed up well past my expiration date.  (The League 
and I have long since parted ways, although without animosity.  My 
branch and I came to the agreement that we were a poor match and so 
I left on my own.  I drop by the old haunts occasionally, just to 
say hi.)  The night before last I had been very good and gone to sleep 
at a reasonable time, but to no avail, awakening not much less tired 
than when I had retired.  I sensed The Bank's work in this, but 
could do nothing.  They will, of course deny all, but you, you know 
the truth of what I write.  Whatever happens to me, remember what I've 
told you.